Do you know what you want? Do you know what your desires in life are? Most people have at least a vague or general idea of what things they want to be part of their life experience. Or at the very least, they know (usually with certainty) what it is that they do not want.
Do you believe that your desires today are the same ones that you had 10 years ago, 5 years ago, last month, last week? I’m willing to bet that you don’t think they are. “Maybe” – you say – “maybe my desires today are the same as last week’s, but not the same as last year’s, and certainly not the same as 5 or 10 years ago!”
The reason most of us believe this is because we have grown up. We have matured and evolved over the years and we believe that our desires have evolved with us. For instance, when we were babies our prominent desire was to have a full tummy and a dry bottom. When we got a little older (and wiser) our prominent desire changed to playing with our favorite toy, perhaps. And when we got older it evolved again to whatever it was that we most wanted at the time, until we got to where we are today, desiring more money, good or better relationships, more status, a bigger house, a newer car, etc.
But I’d like you to think for a moment about the things that you want (house/car/money or whatever it is) and ask yourself these questions:
Try it with any of the material, tangible things that you believe that you want. Do you ever get to a YES?
In my case the answer was always a NO, and this was very revealing to me. This meant that the material, tangible things were not what really I was after. It was definitely something else, but what? I reviewed the answers I had provided to Question 2, and realized then that those things were what I really wanted; but they were not things at all. They were feelings!
I was looking for feelings or emotions of love, peace, satisfaction, fulfillment, etc. and the reason I thought I wanted the material things is because I believed that in the having of those things I would experience those emotions. Did you have the same experience?
Now consider my previous question. Do you still believe that your desires have changed? The truth is that we believe that our desires have changed or evolved with us because we generally look at our desires as the material or tangible things that we wish to see manifested in our lives. But if we think about it and look past the tangible aspect of it for a moment, we’ll realize that we aren’t really after the material things, but the emotional effect that those things have on us. So in reality, our desires have not changed over time. What has really changed over time, are the material, tangible things that we believe will bring about what we really desire.
I also realized that I did not have to wait until I acquired those things in order to experience my desired emotions. I could do it right now by doing simple things like going for a walk, meditating, hugging my kids, or sharing a moment with my wife. Once I made it my intention to feel those emotions, I found myself looking for (and finding) every day moments and situations that brought about those emotions in me. This made those moments and situations so much more valuable to me, and my gratitude for them increased tremendously.
This was an extremely powerful realization to me, as was the feeling of freedom that I felt as a result of it. I was able to let go of my need for those things in order to be happy, and I was able to put them in the proper perspective as things that would add levels of ease and comfort to my life, rather than as the source of my happiness.
Do you have any input on this subject? Feel free to share it with me in the comment box below, or email me at JC@effect180.com.
I’d love to hear from you!
JC Coaching 