Whenever I find myself down emotionally because of something that is happening (or not happening) in my life, I like to put into practice the tips and techniques that I’ve learned in my journey to turn the situation around. This is not always easy, because sometimes the emotions that arise as a result of my current focus just feel too overwhelming.
One of my favorite things to do is to search for a new perspective, one that allows me to see the good and the positive in the situation. Over the years I’ve come to realize that no matter how bad a situation seemed at the moment, there was always, always something good, a blessing in disguise if you will, that would improve my life experience in some shape or form.
At first I would come to this realization in hindsight, after the storm had passed, because I was just too overwhelmed by what we know as negative emotions to truly understand what was happening. When I did not have any tools to use or techniques to apply, I allowed myself to be dragged into the negative vibe and soon after I would find myself feeling down in the dumps.
But over the years I’ve learned to apply this “New Perspective” technique and this has helped me to build an energy shield that blocks the negativity from dragging me into it, and allows me to use what is currently happening as fuel to keep moving forward. I especially like to use it when I find myself doubting my ability to succeed at what I’m doing. When fear and self-doubt creep in, rather than dwelling on these thoughts and feelings and thus allowing them to attack and destroy my confidence and drive, I immediately turn to this technique and apply it.
This technique is based on 3 basic principles: 1. You started off as a winner, 2. You are already getting results, and 3. There is no such thing as failure. I will now elaborate on each of these principles:
You Started Off as a Winner
Think about it. The reason you are here is because at the time of your conception when the sperm and the egg came together, one sperm won the race! That’s one in one hundred million! And because of that one, here you are. And do you know how many things can go wrong during pregnancy? Tons! But the fact that you are alive reading this is proof that you’ve been a winner since the beginning. And that was before you even had use of your senses and your intellect, so imagine how much more of a winner you can be now! So the next time you feel fear and doubt creep in remember this: you started off as a winner and a success, and you can definitely continue to be successful.
You Are Already Getting Results
This is an obvious one, but is generally missed by many (myself included). I invite you to come to the realization that in every one of your endeavors, in everything you’ve attempted throughout your life, you did get some results; sometimes they just weren’t the results you wanted, but you got results nonetheless. Now, what happens to many of us is that when we didn’t get the results we wanted on the first pass, we take that to mean that we’ve failed and therefore we bring our efforts to a halt. If it’s a goal, we drop it like a bad habit; if it’s a dream, we give up on it. We allow the unwanted results to dictate the fate of our endeavors because we believe that we have failed, which only hurts our self-confidence and the belief in our ability to accomplish whatever we set our minds to, which in turn will only increase the fear and self-doubt the next time we set off to attempt something.
There Is No Such Thing as Failure
I’ve said this in a previous post but I want to reiterate it because it’s a very important principle. There is no such thing as failure; there is only feedback indicating that the approach we tried did not work. Notice the difference in the feeling that results from thinking “I have failed” Vs. what I call the Edison Mentality which is thinking “Ok, that approach did not work; I wonder if this one will?” Even without being in the middle of a challenging situation you can see that the “I have failed” mentality not only creates a feeling of depression and/or hopelessness, but it also automatically brings your efforts to a halt; “I have failed, therefore there is nothing else for me to do.” When we have this mentality creativity flies out the window, and our mind closes its doors to new options, new approaches, new possibilities.
However, the Edison Mentality opens the doors to all kinds of possibilities which causes us to develop a child-like curiosity and determination. When we have this mentality our creative juices flow freely and we feel practically dared to make it work. We learned from what did not work, and use that knowledge in our next approaches until at last, we experience the results we wanted.
Remember Edison’s words the next time you feel like you’ve failed or are failing at something. When asked about how he felt after failing to invent the lightbulb ten thousand times, he replied: “I have not failed ten thousand times. I simply discovered ten thousand ways not to make a light bulb.” His so-called failures were no such thing; they were simply data and feedback, which he continued to use until he got the result he wanted. Where would we be today if Edison had said after his first few attempts, “I have failed”?
I have shared with you the 3 principles behind my “New Perspective” approach. I have used and continue to use this approach in my daily life with wonderful results, and I invite you to do the same. Remember, you are already a winner, and you are already getting some results; if the results you’re getting are not what you want, remember that there is no such thing as failure. Use your current results as feedback and, like Edison, move on to the next approach. You will find that if you apply this technique, there is just no way for you not to succeed!
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To your success!
JC
JC Coaching 